It's my brother's 17th birthday today.

Nicholas Khoo Kit Choong.

My God I remember back when we used to live in Cheras (I was 9, he was 11) &I used to scream my face off at him and hit him each time we had one of those stupid sibling squabbles. I was a very crazy mofo violent sister. I'm not even exaggerating. You could here me screaming from downstairs in the car park (we lived in an apartment on the second floor.) Then I'd cry and wait for my mom to get home and tattle on him and be a bitch &one time I even got so mad (get ready to lawl.) that I threw all his clothes out of his closet. I had to pick everything up, fold it and put them back after my mom came home of course then I got a shelling. The weird thing is that he never did anything that horrible to me. He is a good boy.


As we grew older, the fights lessened and we started having more conversations without getting pissed at each other.

Anyway, soon he'll be getting his license so I'll be asking him to drive me around more often. I hope. He's actually a pretty OK kind of guy. He likes girls. He makes jokes.

Chuck Norris makes snowmen out of rain.

I have spent the past couple of hours google-ing, wiki-ing, urban dictionary-ing everything and anything to do with Chuck Norris. Had one of those LOLWTF moments with my brother earlier after reading some of the epic jokes about him like how when Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down and that bullets dodge Chuck Norris. I wish I were as awesome as Chuck Norris then I'd be able to SWIM THROUGH LAND and KILL TWO STONES WITH ONE BIRD?

Chuck Norris doesn't break up with his girlfriends... He punches them in the vagina and they leave.

Chuck Norris had sex with a cigarette machine.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire watermelon, including the seeds, then grew an entire watermelon patch in his stomach which fed eleven families for six weeks.

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck killed that man.

If you were to know Chuck Norris' true name, your mind would collapse upon itself.

It's easy to piss on the ground. Chuck Norris shits on the ceiling.

 Upon reading a fictitious story in his local tabloid, Chuck Norris ripped out the heart of its writer and used his blood to fertilize his lawn. To celebrate, Norris let Steven Seagal out of his cage and beat him mercilessly. Mr. T, who was also present, pitied the shit out of Segal. Norris then fucked your wife, and lit her body on fire using pure grain alcohol and bolts of lightning from his eyes.

Chuck Norris occasionally has Missing In Action flashbacks where he's escaping a Vietnam Prison and randomly starts killing Asians with his bare fist because thats the way Chuck rolls. You'll know when it's coming because Asians start flying through the air with random explosions, horrible subtitles will scroll your line of vision, and Chuck will run and hide in your mom's garden, finally stealing your Kia Sportage screaming, "Get in the Chopper" and lines like, "I'm Proud to be a Fucking American" after kicking your little sister in the face.

Don't know who Chuck Norris is? Shame on you.
Don't find any of this even remotely shit-brickingly hilarious? Sham on you.

Don't think this makes any sense? True. Shame on you.

Things to buy: batteries.

I'm sorry. I think I've been neglecting my blogger duties. I owe you guys an update!

 Today, after a week of procrastination and 4 hours of sitting in a stuffy living room with the fan switched off out of irritation because the bloody papers just kept flying away cause gravity hates me (leading into another PMS fit) I have finally finished making my pair of pom poms. I've never realized how difficult it is to make them - maybe cause I never needed to.

Well, hello. I can't entirely remember what I did the past week. It's all fuzzy. Everything just revolved around cheer? I'm going to assume that giving you the juicy details of the past 7 days will bore you as an excuse for not having the brain power at this time of day (ie: 11.32pm) to elaborate on it. If I had the drive to remember to post something everyday then I'd have more to say other than "ohsorrycan'tremembertoobad".

It's Olney's 19th birthday tomorrow. Tomorrow I will have known him for exactly one year. That's the exact same date Jelly introduced us (via internet duh.) Stupid boy. I am not going to wish him. Just thought since he's a friend of mine that you should know if you know me therefore you should know of my friends' days of birth and so on. Like if they got medals...

Speaking of medals, my little Sheryl (meaning Shu Lynn) placed 12th for Cross-Country and got a medal for it. Clever girl. I hope she and Piong (Shun Zhe) get married or something then they'll have little piong and shu babies and I can babysit their babies while they go out on dates like how newlyweds do. They better pay me though.

PS: I'm 30, I'm 30.

I'm really really 30.

I'm 50, I'm 50.

I'm really really 50.

I'm 80, I'm 80.

I don't want to be 80.

Aliaputri, you better read this or I'm going to seem like a douche when no one that reads this understands it.

PPS: Damn you pre-menstrual syndrome. I craved for McDonald's breakfast burgers last week and now it's Famous Amos cookies.

75

I'm guessing that everyone and anyone from SriKL who has a blog will be blogging about the cross-country run today. They'll either be bitching about it, thanking their Gods about how they managed to finish/qualify, thanking their friends for cheering them on, congratulating everyone else from blueyellowredgreen or chanting words of enthusiasm. Yay.

I qualified btw. I don't know what my timing was but I contributed 2 points to Blue today :D That rids me of my nerves for now. Until Sports Day of course. When I get in front of that ridiculous crowd of people and cheer my face off. I'll probably be shitting bricks in a corner pretending to be calm while everyone else is psyching themselves up and having a last minute run-through of the routine. Then after we're done I'll be giving myself face-palms, hugging people, shaking, sweating, the list goes on. That's what I'm hoping. Sports Day is literally two weeks away. Soon I'll be mentioning "it's sports day tomorrow!" then someone will go ohemgee and wtf. "Are you nervous?" "TCHYEAH!" "Good luck!" "You too (not. mwahaha. I'm taking you down! DOWN TOWN!)"

mmhmm.

PS: my dog's eye is infected.

Lawl.

Have you ever had those moments where you just feel awesome - even if you aren't - cause I'm feeling awesome right now. I'm feeling so awesome that tomorrow, I will punch Jelly in the arm. It's sad though cause I'm alone. My mom is watching tv and my brother is idon'tknow so I'm just sitting here with my syok sendiri-ness aura circulating around me. 

I finally ticked off something from my list of to-dos. Yesterday, I created a Facebook account for my DOG. Fuzzy. Nothing to do? Add him!

 Click here

 Hey, it's not lifeless (maybe a little.) but if you must know he's already gotten 16 friends in less than 24 hours.

Urban Dictionary anyone?

Rawr:

A word that means "I Love You" in dinosaur.

"Rawr"

"Rawr"

-asteroid comes and kills them all-

 

Dog:

Not a cat.

 

Masturbatone:

The muscle tone one gets from masturbating frequently and rigorously.

"Hey, have you seen Gary? Did he start going to the gym over summer?"

"Are you kidding? That's just masturbatone."

"Wow, he must have masturbated a lot these past few months!"

"This is a really awkward conversation for two people to have about another"

X-country trial run

 I hate exercise. I hate moving. I hate the sun. I hate having to squint in the sun. I hate kilometers. I hate it when you've just started enjoying the bus ride and it's time to get off. I hate slow walkers. I hate that ache in your side when you do vigorous movements. I hate sweating. I hate the smell after sweating. I hate the smell of other people after sweating. I hate the dry feeling in my mouth when I need water.

Those are all things I shouldn't be saying. I'm saying them anyway.

Walked the entire route in an hour+ with Shaza, Dan & a little bit of Alia. Still died.

Taken after school with Shaza's iPhone. Lawl a fivesome.

PS: Doing stuff that other people tell you to do - like bringing alcohol to school - just cause you think it's cool? Not cool.

a) you could get expelled.

b) you'll be in deep shit.

c) really, really stupid.

PPS: I can't exactly remember what Ashwin said (unless I suddenly grow a second brain or if I had a radioactive spider bite me even though there's a huge change that that won't be happening) but it went something like this

"You girls, from now on I want all of you to wear turtlenecks and long baggy pants."

Nice. 

PPPS: "Jaryn, I smell fart. Did you fart?"

"[smiles and laughs] yes."

I love my class. (Trina) Gosh.

They're all a bunch of noobies but in a really, really, stupidly good way. Taken last week at the computer lab with the super-new super-laggy Macs.

I went to pay my respects to my grandfather (mom's side) and great grandmother at the columbarium (yes, I've finally found out what that place-where-they-keep-the-urns-filled-with-ashes is called thanks to Wiki & Google.) for QingMing. It's a creepy place. Dust, dim-lit passages, lighted josssticks (however you spell that. I've never been very good spelling-wise.) food in plastic containers and humans were everywhere. We saw a mini urn with a picture of a cat on it though. That was awesome. Maybe I'll cremate my dog when he moves on.